My stupid Super Hero figures 2: House Of M for Moronic edition.

With a new movie coming out, so do new toys. And surprise surprise, a lot of them are freaken weird. And I have taken it upon myself to share them with you. But first, I want to make one thing clear. I do not hate Hasbro. I like them. They do make good toys, just not the ones I show. And without them, we wouldn't have some of my favorite shows. I just want them to THINK about the stuff they make a little more. And now, since I used up all my good puns last time, on to the show.

Stealth Ninja Spider-Man

First up is a cool looking character with a completely unnecessary outfit. It's Spider-Man, how much more stealthy can you get? Also, I question how good a ninja you can be without elbows or knees! In addition to that, the idea of Spider-Man using a sword seems weird. Well at least I can use him in my Full Metal Panic reenactments. (is that reference too obscure? Nahh.)

Dual Blade Shield Captain America

Now this figure is awesome. No really. great detailing, nice big shield, spot on his back to hold it, and he can can stand up. Then you get to his special feature:

Dual wielding wrist mounted blades! Sweet! But this does bring up one little problem: A shield that can break in half completely ruins the point of a shield! Still cool though.

Winter Combat Captain America

Captain America with a (as the package says) 'Rocket-Loaded Launcher', a snow board and wearing a coat over his costume. Never thought I'd see that nowadays. But that's not the 'best' part. check out the description on the back: 

"CAPTAIN AMERICA will brave the harshest blizzard in order to protect the virtues of justice and truth. With only his snowboard and rocket launcher, CAPTAIN AMERICA is ready to shred down the mountain and destroy any villain that threatens the peace and well-being of his homeland."

Hasbro, I hate to break it to you, but the 90's officially ended in 2002. You can't do XTREME stuff in a non ironic way in this day and age and not expect to made fun of by bloggers who have nothing better to do with there life then ridicule the work of others who are much more successful then them even though they would do anything to be able to spend a day in there shoes. Oh. Uh, nothing. Never mind.... MOVING ON!

Shield Bash Marvel's Odin

Oh man. If you thought Thor had a big sword, you ain't seen nothing yet! Even the hilt is big. So big he can hardly hold it in his hand! And the the shield is so heavy I had to borrow Foul Moudama's stand. (he wasn't using it.) And wait till you see his special feature:

Geez man! Overkill much? Oh, and the spikes on the shield spin. You have outdone yourself Hasbro.

Blaster Armor Thor

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most inappropriate weapon/character theme combination I have ever seen. Thor, the Norse god of thunder, with a missile launching backpack. With two types of projectiles as well.

By the way, nice yellow outfit.

Well that's all for now. Remember Hasbro, I only do this because I love you and want the best for you. Because we all know you need the help of some no name blogger.

Until next time, I'm Dollar Ben, and I need to go clean my wall.