Two Ton Chicken: My stupid Super Hero figures.

Some times in life we find ourselves in need of a hero. Someone Unbreakable, someone First Class, someone to jump into the War Zone and Avenge us, the Underdog. Then we can ask for there Hancock. Umm, Iron Man. Well in my attempt at getting my average posting back up to at least 1 a week, here is a showcase of who you don't want to call.

Super Hero Squad Weapon X Wolverine

I love the Super Hero Squad line. Lots of obscure characters in two packs for around 8 bucks each. It's a collectors dream. But it's still a line for kids. And is this something you want your 5 year old to play with? On the bright side, he does seem happy.

Sword Spike Thor

Straight from the new movie comes a figure with such a dumb weapon that I couldn't pass it up.

A sword that's bigger then his torso. And when you push the button on it...

It becomes much less effective! This is exactly what I want in a weapon. That spike has less range and is obscured by the sides of the blade! Now there was a weapon that was like this, but that was a dagger and the idea was that the inner blade was dipped in poison. You were to stab, open the blade, twist, close the blade and remove. And no it's not creepy that I know this. I saw it once on the Dean Cain version of Ripley's Believe It or Not! and remembered it. My mind is weird like that.

Mobile Attack Batman

Poor Batman has it ruff when it comes to toys. He always comes with the weirdest weapons and accessories. Like this one.

Look out! It's The Human Go-Kart! No really, this is what he comes with.

Dignity not included.

Nope. Still not cool. Sorry Batman.

Silly Suitcase Joker

While Hasbro watches the Star Wars films a little too closely, it seems Mattel didn't even get to see 'The Dark Knight' when working on the toys. "Did I ever tell you how I got this suitcase?" Well I have a feeling the conversation in the toy factory went like this: "Hey Bill, we need you to design a toy for The Joker." "Oh cool. I love Mark Hamill." "No. Different Joker. This one's for the new movie." "Well what's he like?" I don't know. Here's a picture. Do whatever you want for the accessories." And so we got this:

Remember that wacky scene where The Joker shoves a rubber chicken though a guys eye? Yeah me nether.

Kryptonite Armor Lex Luthor

Ahh yes. Lex Luthor. The power hungry mad scientist. Arch enemy to Superman. A corrupt businessman. I think he was president at one point... Yeah I don't read Superman. Nor did I see Superman Returns, but I did buy this figure from the line. Although I don't believe this would be cannon.